Today’s blog entry is an email I just got from Don Zipp, notorious fisherman, hunter, father, landscaper, bullshitter, and now, head football coach…
HI MIKE!!!!
I HAVE TURNED A BUNCH OF MISFIT CHARLEVOIXANITE KIDS INTO MY FIRST WIN AS A HEAD COACH !!!!!!
I HONESTLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THOSE 18 KIDS ARE THE SAME 18 LITTLE PUKES THAT MAKE ME SO GODDAMNED MAD AT OUR PRACTICES !!!!! I AM SO DARNED PROUD OF THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS THAT I ACTUALLY SHED A TEAR OF HAPPINES IN FRONT OF THEM TODAY !!!! UNBELIEVEABLE !!!!!!!
I STARTED OUT BY CALLING AN 18 BOOTLEG AS OUR FIRST PLAY FROM SCRIMMAGE, MY QUARTERBACK, THE ONE AND ONLY CHARLIE HAMILTON, EXECUTED HIS FAKE LIKE Y.A. TITTLE, AROUND THE END HE WENT, 62 YARDS FOR A TOUCHDOWN!!!! THE CROWD WENT BANANAS!!!! THE BOYS WENT NUTS, WE SCORED!!!! BUT IT WAS CALLED BACK BECAUSE OF TWO CLIPPING PENALTIES!!!!! I WAS FURIOUS!!!! I REGAINED MY COMPOSURE AND CALLED A 26 PITCH PASS, FUMBLE ON THE SNAP!!!!!!!! LUCKILY WE RECOVERED….I WAS EXTREMELY PISSED AT THAT POINT!! ONCE AGAIN I RESUMED MY LAID BACK DEMEANOR AND CALLED ANOTHER 26 PITCH PASS…. EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TAUGHT THOSE KIDS CAME TOGETHER IN WHAT SEEMED LIKE SLOW MOTION….THE SNAP WAS GOOD, THE FAKE TO THE FULLBACK WAS PHENOMINAL, THE PITCH TO THE TAILBACK WAS N.F.L QUALITY, HE TUCKED AND RAN TO THE LINE OF SCRIMAGE AND LAUNCHED A PERFECT SPIRAL THAT WOULD HAVE MADE TERRY BRADSHAW WEAR PANTY-HOSE!!!, THE BALL SHOT THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A MISSLE….RIGHT INTO THE NUMBERS OF NUMBER 11, THOMAS SUTTON,THE FLANKER. MAJESTICLY HE PRANCED INTO THE END-ZONE FOR TOUCHDOWN # 1. I WAS A VERY PROUD COACH. WE FAILED TO GET OUR EXTRA POINT,BUT, IN THE END, VICTORY WAS OURS, NEVER TO BE TAKEN AWAY!!!
ANY-HEW….WE WON. JUST WANTED TO PASS THAT ALONG!!!!
THANKS NOSTRODHAMOUS….OH WISE ONE….THANK YOU
Congratulaions Don..